An Artist's Reflection

When I look back on my 30 day challenge, writing a blog about it, making a digital story, and now finishing this “ePortfolio”, I have decidedly mixed feelings. When I was told that my 30 day challenge had to have a positive effect on my life it became apparent what I should do for it, quit smoking cigarettes. It was easily the best decision I made the entire semester. Completing the 30 day challenge in itself was unchallenging for me, to say the least. What seemed to be difficult was writing the blog entries about my challenge. I had little to talk about. There did not seem to be much to tell other than that I stopped buy and smoking cigarettes. I had to think of other topics to talk about that I could somehow relate to quitting smoking. I talked about going on hikes, taking my brother’s dog for a walk, and how my emotions sometimes got the best of me while driving. All of those are things that replaced my nicotine habit.

Creating my digital story was the most demanding assignment I was given this semester. I have plenty of stories that I know I could have told well. Each with enough pictures for any of them to have made an amazing story, yet I had to somehow make it about my 30 day challenge. This, coupled with the fact that I am technologically illiterate, made the project difficult for me. I finally decided that I could tell the story of the first time I saw combat action, while deployed to Afghanistan, which was the reason that I started smoking in the first place. From here I started  the task a little differently than most. I put together my video without having completed my narration for it. I had an idea of what I wanted to do and where I wanted it end up but no plans on how to get there. After playing around with the WeVideo program for a few hours I had finally put together a semi-coherent stream of pictures that almost told a story. This is where is got interesting for me. I watched the video I had made two or three times to figure out the timing of the pictures and the black screens. I then played the video and recorded my narration off of the top of my head. Doing so took me six or seven tries to get just right. This meant that each time I recorded myself the story I told was slightly different. The finished product turned out to be better than I had originally expected it to be.

If I had the chance to go back and do the 30 day challenge over again I know I would have done it a little differently. I still would have chosen to quit smoking, which was something that I had been wanting to do for a long time, and I’m happy that I completed that goal. I think I would have written the blog in a different way, though, maybe adding more information about health and quitting smoking techniques. Overall I enjoyed this English class. It had been ten years since the last time I had taken any formal classes and I feel like I did well with my writing although I know that I could have put a little more time and effort into it. During the last semester I learned that I am able to write better than I had previously thought and I actually enjoy writing. I could see myself becoming an author of sorts, but only if there was money in doing so.

Artist's Statement (Digital Story)

An Artist’s Statement

I chose to create my digital story based around an event in my life that led to me start using tobacco, something that is no longer a part of my life thanks to my 30 day challenge. I knew going into my 30 day challenge, which was to quit smoking cigarettes, that it was a task that I could accomplish easily if I actually wanted to accomplish it. It was a complete success. It has been two months and one week without tobacco or nicotine. The hardest part came when I was informed that the digital story had to be about my 30 day challenge. It just so happened that me quitting tobacco was not interesting enough to make a digital story about. I had to think hard about a story I could tell the world that was interesting, tied into my 30 day challenge, and caught the audience's attention.

I centered my digital story around my time deployed to Afghanistan while serving in the U.S. Army Infantry. I started the digital story with a title screen with the date of the emotionally traumatic event I witnessed. I immediately started to show pictures of all of the mountains that I was surrounded by. Six different pictures that I took while overseas. I followed that up with a four to five second black screen for dramatic effect. Then I chose to show six pictures of the main highway in Afghanistan, a road that I spent a large amount of time driving on. I also inserted a black screen for five seconds following those pictures. Next I had six pictures showing the kinds of activities and shenanigans that happened inside the truck I drove. This was again followed by a long, pausing black screen. I chose to show these pictures following them with the black screens to slow down the tempo of my story and create a very serious tone. All the while that this was being shown I was narrating what the pictures showed and the memories and feelings they brought to my mind.

I then presented photographs of the men I was deployed with, the men I spent ten months living with in extremely close quarters, that I have come to call my family.  I wanted to show the entire platoon to the audience. I then displayed individual pictures of the guys I became closest with while we were in a combat zone together. The next part was a 15 second long black screen where I used long pauses in between the sentences I was narrating to create a sense of tension. This was all leading up to the big “reveal” of my story. The main focal point picture. The picture of a destroyed MRAP (Mine-Resistant, Ambush-Protected) vehicle. The very same MRAP that I witnessed fly 17 feet into the air. This all made for an interesting and gripping story. The only problem is that up until this point the digital story had yet to have anything to do with my 30 day challenge.

Finally I showed three pictures of myself using tobacco while in Afghanistan. This was where I could finally tie the entire story back into my 30 day challenge. I continue on to explain that my life changed after witnessing such a horrific incident. I began smoking and using chewing tobacco heavily to help calm my nerves and try to maintain focus while on combat patrols. The 30 day challenge that I chose was something that I had been wanting to do for a long time but always came up with stupid excuses to tell myself while I continued to smoke. Quitting cold turkey was probably the best decision to make while doing this challenge because it gave me the chance to prove to myself that I can do anything I want to as long as I have the mental strength and willpower to do so.

My Digital Story

https://www.wevideo.com/hub/#view/794528756

My Last Smoking Blog, But Not My Last Challenge

I guess quitting smoking was one of the easier things I have ever done in my life. Easier than graduating high school. Easier than losing the first love of my life. Easier than going through basic training for the Infantry. Easier than going to Afghanistan. Easier than adjusting back into civilian life. Easier than that stupid math class with Mrs. Marvin.. Bleh, math. Bleh, Mrs. Marvin. Worst math teacher ever. That might just be my opinion though. I digress. As I have completed my thirty day challenge, I have been overcome with the urge to continue the thirty day challenge theme. What else can I do within thirty days? What can I accomplish within thirty days? What can I do for thirty days that will benefit me? PUSH UPS! I am going to do another thirty day challenge. 100 push ups a day for thirty days! When I hear that I begin to FREAK OUT! But after I think about it, 100 push with one day is not really that many. Wake up, do twenty-five push ups. Got to class and come home. Twenty-five push ups. Each lunch. Twenty-five push ups. Go back to school. Twenty-five more push ups. BAM! 100 push ups. Shit, I could do much more than one hundred within one day if I really put my mind to it. One hundred is a good start though. I can not wait to see the results of those push ups!

Nearing My Goal

I stopped smoking cigarettes on the 29th of September. It is now the 28th of October. Tomorrow it will be a full thirty day without smoking a single cigarette. No set backs. No relapsing. No weak minded moments. Just the complete absence of nicotine in my life. I knew that I would quit one day. What I did not know was that I would be writing a blog about it. I have always thought of myself as being proficient in the English language. I have always done well writing essays, poetry, and research papers. I never thought that writing would be this hard. I can always seem to come up with something to put on paper when I have a topic or source of inspiration to work with. Writing about myself is not something that I am used to doing. When I think about it, it makes me laugh. I know more about this topic than anything else. I know more about myself than anyone. If that's true, then why does this seem so hard? I guess it becomes difficult to put my own personal thoughts into words for someone else to read. Maybe I am a little self conscious. It could also be that I just do not like admitting that I could be self conscious about anything. No matter what it could be I feel like I am on top of the world right now after having gone this long without a cigarette.

Getting Outside After Three Weeks

Three weeks without a cigarette. This is becoming almost as easy as breathing. Cigarettes aren't even an afterthought anymore. What has been on my mind lately though is exploring. I recently made my way to the Lost Creek Wilderness near Bailey, Colorado in the Pike National Forest. If you have never been there before, I highly suggest checking it out. The area was ravaged by Hayman Fires in 2002, which somehow adds to the beauty of the land and rock formations. Upon getting out of the car at the Goose Creek Trailhead and looking up at the rare granite arch miles away in front of me I suddenly got an even bigger itch for adventure. With the smell of pine trees in the air, I set out towards my destination. After much less than a mile I could already feel the effects of having been a smoker for the past six years. Breathing heavily, sweating profusely, while taking labored footsteps for four more miles seemed like such a horrible task. And after that it would be another four and a half miles back to the car. I kept going though, determined to make it to my goal of the granite arch that I could no longer see because of the trees around me. I couldn't see it anymore, but I knew I must have been on the right path.I continued on until I could see the arch again. This time it was only 600 or 700 feet ahead of me. It just happened to also be 1500 feet up. The easy part was over. The hard uphill climb had just begun. After another 20 minutes of huffing and puffing may way to the top I finally reached the arch!

Has It Really Been 13 Days?

     It has been 13 days since I smoked my last cigarette. I thought quitting smoking was going to be the hardest part of doing this 30 day challenge and blogging about it. I have come to realize that quitting cigarettes was the easy part. The hardest part, which is quite interesting, is being polite to the people around me while not smoking. It seems that after I have quit, I have become very judgemental of everything everyone around me says or does.
     Use your turn signal! Can you walk any slower? Why are you in my way this time? Do you really have to listen to your music that loud? I find myself constantly saying these things under my breath. It all makes me just want to scream. It also makes me wonder if I am really this horrible of a person, or am I still trying to break this habit? Do I hate everything or am I still adjusting?

Day Six!

     Today marks the beginning of my sixth day without a cigarette. Six days that I have saved money. Six days that I haven't slowly destroyed my body. Six days without smelling like an ashtray. Six of the hardest days in civilian life I have ever had. I spent them imagining smoking a cigarette. Craving the smooth taste. Thinking about the feeling of anxiety being lifted with that first puff. Those were the thoughts I was stuck on.
     Now all I can think about is what I can accomplish without smoking in my life. Everyday I have woken up after stopping smoking I have felt physically better. My lungs do not burn when I walk up and down stairs. I do not cough up gross phlegm. I no longer wheeze.
     With all of this new found energy I have without cigarettes I have been getting outside more and getting exercise. I have recently been taking my older brother's puppy, Maggie, to the local dog parks. She gets the chance to run off her puppy energy and socialize with the other dogs. I get a chance to be outside, enjoying the fresh air and sunlight. Maggie seems to enjoy the Chatfield off-leash area the most. It has over 69 acres of fenced in area with two ponds for dogs to wander around and explore. She really likes the ponds. It's hard to keep her out of them. I feel she can sense me typing about it right now. Off to the park we go!

It's Been One Day

     It's been just over 36 hours since I had my last cigarette. 36 hours of craving. 36 hours of being irritable. 36 hours of stomach aches. All things that are happening while I kick the nicotine habit. I found a TED Talks video that goes into detail about the long term costs and health effects that smoking has on the world. It really got me thinking about what it could mean for me to quit smoking. On average I'll live ten years longer than if I kept smoking. I'll save upwards of $210 each month. I won't have that horrible smell on me all the time. The reasons to stop just keep getting better and better.
     The first three days are always the hardest. That first morning without a cigarette. The first long drive in a car. The first drink. All things that used to go so well with smoking. All things that, over time, had become a habit more than an addiction. These habitual smoking times will be the hardest part of quitting. After the first the days, the nicotine in my body is almost 100% gone. From then on it will all be breaking a habit. I have started chewing on mint toothpicks whenever I get the urge to smoke. It seems to be working so far. I know that I am slowly replacing one habit with another, but the toothpicks are a much safer and cheaper alternative to cigarettes. Day one is over. Day two is almost over. Let's see what day three has in store for me.
   

About me, The Smoker

Cigarette smoking is quickly becoming a huge problem in our nation. It is estimated that more than 40 million people smoke in the United States as of 2014 (1).Cigarette smoking is the leading cause of preventable disease and death in the United States, accounting for more than 480,000 deaths every year, or one of every five deaths (2). Most people who smoke, like myself, would like to quit but have trouble overcoming the habit and the addiction. For my 30 day challenge I am going to stop smoking cigarettes, cold turkey.

I picked up smoking at the age of 22 when I joined the Army. It all started off as a casual cigarette here or there while I was drinking with the other soldiers in the barracks. Before I knew it I was buying my own pack everyday. My habit became worse while I was deployed to Afghanistan. Most of the men in my platoon were using tobacco of some form or another. Being behind the wheel of a truck most of the time, I started using smokeless tobacco during combat patrols because we were not allowed to smoke inside of the vehicles. When I returned to the United States I started smoking again. I have quit multiple times and start back up again each time. This time I am going to quit permanently.

I have decided that the first step to quitting is wanting to quit. Not just trying to quit, but actually wanting to make a change for the better in my life. The most important part of this being mindset. If I start with the thought that I can and will accomplish the task at hand, I will accomplish it. I know this is not going to be an easy task. The physical addiction will only last three days but it is the mental addiction and the habit that is hard to break. I am used to smoking a cigarette when I wake up in the morning, after a meal, while driving, before I go to bed, it will be these habitual times that I smoke that will be the hardest to give up.

The next step would be to set a date for when to stop. When deciding when to quit it is recommended to pick a date that is within the current month. If picking a time that is too far out, most people will rationalize their choice to smoke and will continue to do so. Setting a date will help give me a better sense of my addiction coming to an end. Each day after that is just one day closer to my goal of being nicotine free. My current date to quit on will be the 26th of September 2016.

My third undertaking will be to distance myself from other smokers. This is going to be the hardest step of all. I live with my older brother and one roommate who are both smokers. Many of my friends also smoke. The key to this will be getting out of the house more and being active. Going on hikes, walking my brother’s dog, getting up into the mountains, playing disc golf, all of these will help me achieve my goal by being away from the temptation and also keeping my mind off of it by being engaged in a productive activities.

Most smokers quit with the use of smoking cessation aids. These can include gums, patches, lozenges, and nicotine vaporizers. My plan, though, is to stop cold turkey. Quitting cold turkey is a term used to describe the abrupt and complete cessation of taking a drug to which one is addicted. I have stopped this way before and it seems to be easier for me to give them up completely as to using cessation products. I have noticed through friends and stories online that when using those products to quit most people just replace cigarettes with the new nicotine product. This is something that I do not want to happen. I am going to give up nicotine completely, once and for all.

Smoking is a habit. Like most habits it is easily picked up but difficult to stop. My goal at the end of this 30 days is to be completely nicotine free. Feeling better,breathing easier, and not having a smoker’s cough will be an added bonus to not having such a bad habit.

1.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Current Cigarette Smoking Among Adults—United States, 2005–2014. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 2015;64(44):1233–40 [accessed 2016 Mar 14].

2.U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The Health Consequences of Smoking—50 Years of Progress: A Report of the Surgeon General. Atlanta: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2014 [accessed 2016 Mar 14].